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my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that noise out of washington's been? it sounded like an a elephant seal trying to (bleep) a truck! (laughter) actually, that footage is from a few years ago. the two of them are ver
my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2...
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Jul 22, 2011
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. >> and finally, on this friday, let's end it with humor courtesy of jon stewart who offered the special take on a serious candidate tim pawlenty campaign. let's watch. >> well, let's see where governor tim pawlenty is. he has $4.5 million raised this quarter, but he struggles against the perception that he is -- former minnesota governor tim pawlenty kicked off three weeks of barnstorming in the anticipated fox straw poll with a warning that iowans should not waste their support on charismatic candidates who cannot win. >> ooh, tim pawlenty taking a bold stand against charisma. [ laughter ] hey, look, this is not a popularity contest. oh, it is? oh. >> will anyone in this field inspire the conservative voters or do we have the wait for someone like sarah palin or donald trum tp to have the charisma that jon stewart was f stewart. i think secondly, governor pawlenty has a point, we should be voting on records which means we shouldn't be voting for pawlenty. >> connie shorts on this hot friday. thank you very much. >> reporter: thank you. >>> now to the state of the american family and th
. >> and finally, on this friday, let's end it with humor courtesy of jon stewart who offered the special take on a serious candidate tim pawlenty campaign. let's watch. >> well, let's see where governor tim pawlenty is. he has $4.5 million raised this quarter, but he struggles against the perception that he is -- former minnesota governor tim pawlenty kicked off three weeks of barnstorming in the anticipated fox straw poll with a warning that iowans should not waste their support...
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Jul 29, 2011
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jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next week when i, chuck assume, revishu schumer, i classic the star wars. in this film, a large asthmatic man dressed in black plastic cuts the arm off of a boy wearing pajamas with some type of a glow stick. and here's the part you won't believe. the man in the suit is the boy's father. >> pretty good summary. still ahead on "way too early," why are you awake? tweets, texts and e-mails are next. emily's just starting out... and on a budget. like a ramen noodle- every-night budget. she thought allstate car insurance was out of her reach. until she heard about the value plan. and saving money with allstate doesn't stop
jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next...
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Jul 26, 2011
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well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually fully cooked. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ] fork when he ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't eat, how dare you disrespect me. you son of a [ bleep ]. >> going back to the sort of psuedo de niro, i don't know what it is, but i like it. here it is, again, mr. trump, our good friend, donald j. trump, eating pizza with a fork. with sarah palin in may. we like dumb criminals here on "way too early" as you may have noticed. there's a liquor store down in pembroke, florida, that's been hit twice now by the same v
well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually...
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Jul 13, 2011
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my name is jon stewart. the great kid rock will be joining us on the program tonight, and i'm going to go with shark. all right. [cheering and applause] folks, i'm going to start with a problem. we got a problem. apparently america spends more than it takes in. so america needs to figure out a way to become more fiscally responsible. unfortunately while america figures it out, there is a repo man, let's call him "china," that on august 2nd could possibly repossess us. [laughter] the good news is we have a couple of good debt reduction options at our disposal. worse comes to worse, we could for some weird reason arbitrarily change the money we're allowed to be in date, which makes no [bleeped] sense whatsoever, but the bad news is the people in charge of putting together this country-saving plans are the same ones who as of today are currently on the floor of the house of representatives doing this. >> the new incandescent bulb looks and works just like the old incandescent bulb. >> so if we don't pass this b
my name is jon stewart. the great kid rock will be joining us on the program tonight, and i'm going to go with shark. all right. [cheering and applause] folks, i'm going to start with a problem. we got a problem. apparently america spends more than it takes in. so america needs to figure out a way to become more fiscally responsible. unfortunately while america figures it out, there is a repo man, let's call him "china," that on august 2nd could possibly repossess us. [laughter] the...
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Jul 15, 2011
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. >>> and jon stewart has to bring in an expert to help him pray the gay jokes away. naturals from purina cat chow. delicious, real ingredients with no artificial flavors or preservatives. naturals from purina cat chow. share a better life. [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection toothpaste. it helps eliminate plaque at the gumline, helping prevent gingivitis. it's even clinically proven to help reverse it in just 4 weeks. and it protects these other areas dentists check most. looks like the twins are even again. new crest pro-health clinical toothpaste. life opens up when you do. >>> so the whitey bulger case is a federal case. so there's one guy who is hoping for a federal government shutdown so they can't bring him to trial and the prosecutors don't get paid. >>> still to come tonight, senator ted kennedy's campaign team from 1994 found a way to stop mitt romney co
. >>> and jon stewart has to bring in an expert to help him pray the gay jokes away. naturals from purina cat chow. delicious, real ingredients with no artificial flavors or preservatives. naturals from purina cat chow. share a better life. [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection...
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. >>> coming up, jon stewart cannot help himself. he cannot control his deep desire to make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. you'll have that latest in the show. don't miss it. >>> and later, when republican house leader eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him and the political media has also forgotten it, too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the day eric cantor voted to raise income taxes. that's in my "rewrite" tonight. 50 billion network devices will roam the earth. that's seven devices per person. this will change how we work in ways we've never before imagined. what do you need to secure your people, their devices, and your business? a network that can evolve and grow to protect your human network. ♪ [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brush
. >>> coming up, jon stewart cannot help himself. he cannot control his deep desire to make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. you'll have that latest in the show. don't miss it. >>> and later, when republican house leader eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him and...
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Jul 12, 2011
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stewart -- the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the show. my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the vietnam war, leary on monday, maeld of honor winner on thursday. it will be, the largest character gap we have ever had. (laughter) >> between guests. denis was wondering how i was going to get him today. anyway, took last week off. and had a great vacation. went away completely unplugged. no news, no tv, threw my cell phone in the ocean which caused some problems later but at the time felt pretty great. so let's plug back in, what i did miss? >> the president is worrying that we have just nine days to raise the debt ceiling or risk default. >> the numbers
stewart -- the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the show. my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the...
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Jul 21, 2011
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from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." boom. got a good one for you tonight. we got a good one for you tonight. i is jon stewart. our guest tonight, focus, boy, focus, our guest tonight steve carell for... [laughter] anyway, i look forward to meeting the young man. our top story, of course, tonight, once again, the continuing revelation in the british tabloid "news of the world" scandal. as you may recall, yesterday news corp owner montgomery burns was called before parliament for a dramatic three-hour testimony so intense the media mogul managed to stay awake. [laughter] he managed to stay awake for nearly all of it. >> this is the most humble day of my life. >> jon: 'tis true. for nearly 80 years rupert murdoch has had, for lack of a better term, the "run of the planet." dominion over all that he surveys. but yesterday, july 19, in the year of our murdoch 2011, was the day that the aussie iconoclast had to accept t
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." boom. got a good one for you tonight. we got a good one for you tonight. i is jon stewart. our guest tonight, focus, boy, focus, our guest tonight steve carell for... [laughter] anyway, i look forward to meeting the young man. our top story, of course, tonight,...
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jon stewart. we have a very good show tonight. our guest tonight, neil patrick her is. (cheers and applause) now as you know many of our viewers live in the northern hemisphere. (laughter) i dot longitudes and latitudes but i really don't-- (laughter) an experienced-- (laughter) a lot of map lovers in the audience. anyway, in the hemisphere has experienced in the past week a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called labs, falaro where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it it but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-pertunity. >> we just took this justy t bone out of the fri see if we can cook it on the dashboard of a car. >> you can really cook eggs on a street, bake cookies on a dashboard. >> the mac and cheese have cooked. >> i will taste the pizza. >> the pizza is actually fully cooked. it is not global warning, it is god preheating america. (laughter) by the way, this guy may be eat pizza straight off the sidewalk, but at least he didn
jon stewart. we have a very good show tonight. our guest tonight, neil patrick her is. (cheers and applause) now as you know many of our viewers live in the northern hemisphere. (laughter) i dot longitudes and latitudes but i really don't-- (laughter) an experienced-- (laughter) a lot of map lovers in the audience. anyway, in the hemisphere has experienced in the past week a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called labs, falaro where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then...
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stewart said. >> if you have the emissions of the -- the cap room. >> i don't know what he is talking about? cap and trade is fascinating. but the pie tin is not han dirks you can say it with glitter as the republican presidential candidates are finding out lately. >> any way, next, martin bashir who is not covered in pie or glitter is in london with the latest on the scandal surrounding the murdoch family. stay with us. [ female announcer ] experience dual-action power, with listerine® whitening plus restoring rinse. it's the only listerine® that gets teeth two shades whiter and makes tooth enamel two times stronger. get dual-action listerine® whitening rinse. building whiter, stronger teeth. it's schwab at your fingertips wherever, whenever you want. one log in lets you monitor all of your balances and transfer between accounts, so your money can move as fast as you do. check out your portfolio, track the market with live updates. and execute trades anywhere and anytime the inspiration hits you. even deposit checks right from your phone. just take a picture, hit deposit and you'r
stewart said. >> if you have the emissions of the -- the cap room. >> i don't know what he is talking about? cap and trade is fascinating. but the pie tin is not han dirks you can say it with glitter as the republican presidential candidates are finding out lately. >> any way, next, martin bashir who is not covered in pie or glitter is in london with the latest on the scandal surrounding the murdoch family. stay with us. [ female announcer ] experience dual-action power, with...
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ronny, take a look at the conversation, it's very important, history of the media, between jon stewart, of comedy central, of course, and chris wallace. i think chris wallace laid down an interesting line here on what fox is all about. i think it's fair to say what he says now in this, perhaps, unrehearsed comment than was ever said by the advertising of fox when they called themselves fair and balanced. let's listen to chris wallace. >> you believe that fox news is exactly the ideological equivalent of nbc news? >> i think we're the counter -- i think that they have a liberal agenda and we tell the other side of the story. >> well, there's an admission by ron and then, josh, not saying fair and balances, he's saying they're a balancing act of the point of view of the major broadcast networks and i guess us? >> yeah. >> that's right. abc, nbc, cbs, the "new york times," everybody else in the media is part of a liberal conspiracy and poor, lonely little fox is out there all on their own counterbalancing this. of course, he admitted in saying that, they are, in fact, a conservative voice
ronny, take a look at the conversation, it's very important, history of the media, between jon stewart, of comedy central, of course, and chris wallace. i think chris wallace laid down an interesting line here on what fox is all about. i think it's fair to say what he says now in this, perhaps, unrehearsed comment than was ever said by the advertising of fox when they called themselves fair and balanced. let's listen to chris wallace. >> you believe that fox news is exactly the...
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and i think it was jon stewart who said upon seeing a picture of john boehner recently that he looked like the world's saddest tangerine. but, yeah. i mean, this exposes john boehner's weakness. political weakness. this is what he wanted for years, to be the speaker. he got the speakership because of the tidal wave of tea party people coming in. but be careful what you wish for. now he can't govern that majority. and he's downstairs here, and we are all standing around waiting to see what happens pleading with people to try to get the votes he needs. and he is short. according to the people i have talked to, he's short. it's humiliating. and i think he will be challenged sometime soon, no matter what happens on this vote. >>> thank you both so much for joining me tonight. >>> coming up -- the republicans say they want deficit reduction. what they really mean is government reduction. ezra klein joins me. >>> and an epic battle between tea partiers and hobbits is raging. inside the mind of one u.s. senator, john mccain. "the rewrite" is next. >>> coming up -- hey, wait a minute. we're d
and i think it was jon stewart who said upon seeing a picture of john boehner recently that he looked like the world's saddest tangerine. but, yeah. i mean, this exposes john boehner's weakness. political weakness. this is what he wanted for years, to be the speaker. he got the speakership because of the tidal wave of tea party people coming in. but be careful what you wish for. now he can't govern that majority. and he's downstairs here, and we are all standing around waiting to see what...
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if he were here today he could be with jon stewart, he could be anybody, he uld be with stephen colbert and meet them eye to eye. that he was funny. how often have w seen a polician like that? not in a long time. >> rose: how do you think president obama's doing on those standards? >> well, i think the one thing he did care about, lincoln, originally, the emotional intelligence set of issues, i think he does have those. when you watch him around a table he makes sure everybody speaks, h listens to people with opposing advice. i think the thing you ve to learn when you get into the presidency is that a certain point you can't listen anymore. lincoln finally said "consensus can be paralyzing, you have to decide when to act." >> rose: wow. >> so that everyone around a table, for example, he debated emancipation for two months, three months, and everybody had different points of view. don't do it, do it, do it yesterday. he finally decided i'm making my mind up and issuing the emancipation proclamation. he goes to the cabinet and says "i don't want your ideas. i've made up my mind. but i'll
if he were here today he could be with jon stewart, he could be anybody, he uld be with stephen colbert and meet them eye to eye. that he was funny. how often have w seen a polician like that? not in a long time. >> rose: how do you think president obama's doing on those standards? >> well, i think the one thing he did care about, lincoln, originally, the emotional intelligence set of issues, i think he does have those. when you watch him around a table he makes sure everybody...
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it's kind of funny, what jon stewart said. >> he is funny. what's your point? >> it's kind of not funny, too. seriously. >> it's fascinating. are you doing the reporting? >> i have been. writing a series of web pieces. this is just an epic story. the amount of headlines every day coming out of this story. this, on a normal day would be, you know, a month long story. every headline would have a long shelf life. yet, they keep coming. to me, the next step is what does this mean for the future of news corp. and rupert murdock. who is going to step in if there's a management takeover. >> you talked in your last piece that i read how this seems counter intuitive but it's good for roger ayles. >> for once, all the critics are not talking about fox. fox is not involved in this, as far as we know in the hacking saga. it's a legitimate business. what's going on with murdock's tabloid has nothing to do with fox news. >> explain how his enemy's within his family and news corp. are going up in flames now. that leaves ayles stronger. >> that's been roger's thing the whole t
it's kind of funny, what jon stewart said. >> he is funny. what's your point? >> it's kind of not funny, too. seriously. >> it's fascinating. are you doing the reporting? >> i have been. writing a series of web pieces. this is just an epic story. the amount of headlines every day coming out of this story. this, on a normal day would be, you know, a month long story. every headline would have a long shelf life. yet, they keep coming. to me, the next step is what does this...
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he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66-32%. gaby giffords was on that twitter, and e-mail. that's how they communicate now, and now how they get news but get information from friends and relatives and everything else. he's going to voters to where they live. this is new in that sense and also old in a very important way. every president has tried to go around the filter, as president bush liked to call it, go around the filter of the mainstream media. bill clinton did it by going on hall and king, george w. bush did it by talking to regional reporters oftentimes, new president obama is doing it himself by going to facebook, by doing a twitter town hall. this is a way of avoiding, you
he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66-32%. gaby giffords was on that twitter, and e-mail....
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he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that and 29. that helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66 to 32% for mccain. in 2010, 12% of the voters were between 18 and 29, so they didn't lift their end and voted for democrats 55-42. narrow vote considering 2008, zwr jonathan, they didn't show up, but the big challenge is to get those numbers jacked up again to 2012 where you can have at least the same participation, will twitter help? >> of course, it will. this is where a lot of young voters get their news and information. they don't go to the driveway and get their morning paper, they are on their blackberrys, iphones, laptops, facebook, twitter, and e-mail. that's how they communicate now, and now how they get news but get information from fri
he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that and 29. that helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66 to 32% for mccain. in 2010, 12% of the voters were between...
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he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the the last election. >> in the 2008 election. >> yes. >> they were not so helpful last time. i want jonathan to get in on this. 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66-32% for mccain. in 2010, different story, both in the percentage of voters. just 12% were between 18 and 29. they didn't really lift their end. they voted for democrats 55-42. very narrow vote relatively speaking compared to 2008, jonathan. they didn't really show up. which doesn't surprise me. it's not a presidential year. but they need to get those numbers jacked up again where you have at least the same participation. will twitter help? >> of course it will. this is the way a lot of young voters get their news and information. they don't go the drive way and day and grab the morning paper. they are
he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the the last election. >> in the 2008 election. >> yes. >> they were not so helpful last time. i want jonathan to get in on this. 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president...
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wouldn't you know, it jon stewart is watching. >> oh, lord. >> a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la senaro. a weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it. but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you cook eggs on the street. cook cookies on a dashboard. i'll taste the pizza. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off of the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ]. fork when we ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't -- how dare you disrespect. you son of a -- >> kind of -- the new york morphed into a deniro. >> it is. >> brando. >> who made jon do that? >> so funny about that. it's not anything like -- he goes there more every time. >> he's being a real new yorker going after him. here it is. the donald -- we loved it. >> no, honey. >> no! >> he's very sweet. he's trying to be elegant. >> don't do that. >> a plastic fork. >> trying not to eat the bread. >> that's true. i do notice that. >> but he didn't eat the cheese off. you're supposed to take the cheese
wouldn't you know, it jon stewart is watching. >> oh, lord. >> a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la senaro. a weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it. but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you cook eggs on the street. cook cookies on a dashboard. i'll taste the pizza. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off of the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [...